I'm sorry if I pissed you off for the last two days and i apologise if i made you assume that i purposely did my worst on the mid-year exams. I can't blame the world for my stupid results and i really can't sulk and cry like a baby for my stupid results.
In my whole entire life, i've never shown or given you any excellent results for you to feel proud of neither have i made the effort to. Truthfully, i've been selfish. Not only to you but towards myself too.. I blocked out any teaching and any advises given and took things for granted and not bother about my future.
Yes, i may have said a mouthful when i told you that i wanted to further my studies and make you really proud of me like any parent would, but its only my imagination. Nothing of it is real and i didn't put in any thought and never made any application to my words. My resolutions are just about a mere gibber to you. None are words of a gentleman.
I was over-confident. I thought that all the papers are just the same as the ones they gave us for the past few years. I was proven wrong. The stakes are higher and tougher if i want to make it to the next level of education. Two B4's and four 'U' grades wasn't what you expect. It seems to show that you've failed in giving me a chance to be educated. Not only that, but it also states that i've not made any attempt to improve myself.
I vow not to waste any more time in school but rather spend more time concentrating on my studies. I've come to realize that you can't live in this world without an education or a certificate of achievement for that matters. Also, i shall not predict on what my future holds, instead plan on what i want for my future. Some of my friends clearly doesn't have a mindset prepared in themselves. Still taking things easy and dilly-dallying like there's still time for them to. i do not feel ashamed, rather i feel happy to meet such people in life because i can take it as a lesson to myself. Not to end up like them.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Rehabs and stuff
Lately i've been wondering, why is life on what you see on television is so sweet and predictable?
I mean, every drama, movie, cartoon, anime, whatever that i watched is so convincing that i'd wonder, "How i wish my life is as great as the ones on TV.."
i would spend days thinking and fantasizing everything that i see on TV and hope to apply it to my life. It just doesnt work that way, really. Reality would hit you so hard and by the time you realise, things would've change around you.
I've been having a lot of things to say but just don't have the time. Mainly its about syg. She'll be going off to Finland in a few days time and i really do hope that she'll be safe and will have fun there. She is big enough to take care of herself and anyway, there will be a big group of people going with her. But what i'm most worried about is how i'm gonna cope my days without her. Yes, you may call me a sick-love-puppy, but its who i am so back off! haha! its not as bad. I can still go out and find places to explore, food to eat, things to do and books to read. My choices are endless, its just a matter whether i'm willing to take the first step or not.
On the first week of June, i'm going on a 2 days trip to a Polytechnic. Not sure which one though coz all i wanted is to get a feel on what it's like and get informations on what courses they have and how is the subsidy is going about. I've made my decisions on staying in Bukit Merah for another year coz i really need my 'O' levels cert. With the DickHead making problems for the family, i have to step up and take up the challenge to support the family. As much as i need her, she needs my help too. (O God, please help me broaden my mind in making decisions.)
Next is my band, Destination Unbound. I've been slacking and not been practicing with them much. Partly its because of my exams and partly its just that we're just plain busy with our lives. Luckily though, they understand. one of them told me that studies are more important and that i should concentrate on it more. Wise words. Haha! I hope to jam with you guys someday so if can, hit me back ok?
Lastly, is my review on Eminem's 2009 album: Relapse. I must say, it has been a long time since i last heard his previous album, Curtain Calls. He still talks about his life and how he dispise with it but this time, he made a new comeback. Some of the lyrics contains some facts about taking drugs and how it made him sick and how he tries to control it. It also says about the first time he took his first drugs without knowing it and how he's been addicted to it.
My top 3 personal favourites are:
- Stay Wide Awake
- Crack a Bottle and
- Hello
i won't revier on Green Day's 21st Century Breakdown album coz i feel that the only nice song in that album is Know Your Enemy. So i shall end this post here. Goodnight!
I mean, every drama, movie, cartoon, anime, whatever that i watched is so convincing that i'd wonder, "How i wish my life is as great as the ones on TV.."
i would spend days thinking and fantasizing everything that i see on TV and hope to apply it to my life. It just doesnt work that way, really. Reality would hit you so hard and by the time you realise, things would've change around you.
I've been having a lot of things to say but just don't have the time. Mainly its about syg. She'll be going off to Finland in a few days time and i really do hope that she'll be safe and will have fun there. She is big enough to take care of herself and anyway, there will be a big group of people going with her. But what i'm most worried about is how i'm gonna cope my days without her. Yes, you may call me a sick-love-puppy, but its who i am so back off! haha! its not as bad. I can still go out and find places to explore, food to eat, things to do and books to read. My choices are endless, its just a matter whether i'm willing to take the first step or not.
On the first week of June, i'm going on a 2 days trip to a Polytechnic. Not sure which one though coz all i wanted is to get a feel on what it's like and get informations on what courses they have and how is the subsidy is going about. I've made my decisions on staying in Bukit Merah for another year coz i really need my 'O' levels cert. With the DickHead making problems for the family, i have to step up and take up the challenge to support the family. As much as i need her, she needs my help too. (O God, please help me broaden my mind in making decisions.)
Next is my band, Destination Unbound. I've been slacking and not been practicing with them much. Partly its because of my exams and partly its just that we're just plain busy with our lives. Luckily though, they understand. one of them told me that studies are more important and that i should concentrate on it more. Wise words. Haha! I hope to jam with you guys someday so if can, hit me back ok?
Lastly, is my review on Eminem's 2009 album: Relapse. I must say, it has been a long time since i last heard his previous album, Curtain Calls. He still talks about his life and how he dispise with it but this time, he made a new comeback. Some of the lyrics contains some facts about taking drugs and how it made him sick and how he tries to control it. It also says about the first time he took his first drugs without knowing it and how he's been addicted to it.
My top 3 personal favourites are:
- Stay Wide Awake
- Crack a Bottle and
- Hello
i won't revier on Green Day's 21st Century Breakdown album coz i feel that the only nice song in that album is Know Your Enemy. So i shall end this post here. Goodnight!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
I have Tagged?
Wow, all my life i always thought that Tagged is just another virus that's spamming my inbox. Just last week i found the courage to finally open up and see what is it all about. Turns out, i have a net profile which i dunno about. Coolio.
Later in the afternoon I'm going out with my family to celebrate one of my younger cousin's birthday. I dunno which one but i think her name is Yanni or something. Don't blame me, i don't entertain birthday's that much. Unless there's food.. Hmm..
before that, i'm gonna share some things thats been going on for the past few days.
Wednesday
I had my Social Studies and my Art paper. I nearly cried doing both papers. One thing's for sure, i didnt study for my Social Studies coz i had to take care of things at home the night before. Secondly, i had no specific concept for what my actual art piece was about, so i improvised and managed to doodle a drawing of a chicken on the paper. Poor ol' me...
Thursday
Had my English paper 2 and my Physics paper. Have to say, although i really fell in love with physics, i didn't actually finish the whole paper and worse of all i loss track of time!! My english was ok although i think that i could've done better. Note to self: If you wanna sleep during one of the papers, get an alarm clock.
Friday
Chemistry and Math paper 1. Worse day of my life or just the start of it? I slept through the whole paper and when i woke up, the invigilator announced "10 minutes left." ... ... ...
I know i wont be able to finish the whole paper within that 10 minutes but i managed to pull off some of the easier questions. Although that fateful paper made me de-moralized, somehow, i felt confidently confident doing the math paper. I dunno whether the answers are correct, but who cares? Haha.
Went for friday prayers with M. Afiq, Zabid and Haris. After that, Haris had to go home straight while I had to meet up with my mom Bukit Merah National Library. But since i had time to spare, i went back to school to meet up with Dear coz she wanted to play badminton. She suggested that i bring the boys along and since they had no other plans after school, they ended up following me to school instead.
We played badminton till its late in the afternoon and i kept on checking my phone in case she calls it. She didn't. When she finally called back, she told me to go home instead. Turns out that she went out with my step-dad and forgot to bring her phone along with her. Haha. On the phone i sounded as though i was mad at her but what she didn't know is how much fun i had during the wait.
Saturday/ Yesterday
Went out in the morning to a Bursary award for my sister at Swiss Hotel. It was fun i guess but i didn't really paid much attention during the speeches coz it was friggin cold and i felt sleepy coz i slept at 2 in the morning. After the prize ceremony, they actually have a tea reception. But it looked and tasted more like a buffet rather than tea. Haha.
After we ate, i followed my mom to buy presents for my younger cousin. She bought a pink teddy bear for her and told me to say i bought it. Like i said, i don't celebrate birthdays much, better yet, i don't even buy presents. I'm such a sucker, i know.
I told my mom that i wanted to go to a chalet at Pasir Ris and all mom said was don't be home too late. Haha, but i guess i did. Reached home at around 11.20pm, all dull and sleepy.
Had lots of fun there and had even more fun on bed, with Dear, the lights all dimmed, everyone else looking at us, a girl was video taping us, pictures on camera phone, pillows, candles, with the TV on. Uuu..
Haha, it was nothing serious, seriously. I confess, i didn't do anything pervertic.
Left the chalet with a full stomach and sweat all over. Should've brought an extra shirt and deodorant. Haha.
Well, i gotta go soon. My step father is coming home and i have to act as though i'm stupid and ignorant. Wait, i'm doing that right now. Haha! Will update next week and i still haven't study for next week's exam papers.
(Someday, i do wish to ask your hands in marriage but till then, i gotta focus on what is critically important to me right now. I hope to try my best and not fail everyone who had been giving me support since birth. You're right, love is more important than riches and fame. Or even family background if that matters. But if they don't accept me for who i am, just know that i will always cherish everything that we had, and what we're gonna have a few years after. Love ya hon!)
Later in the afternoon I'm going out with my family to celebrate one of my younger cousin's birthday. I dunno which one but i think her name is Yanni or something. Don't blame me, i don't entertain birthday's that much. Unless there's food.. Hmm..
before that, i'm gonna share some things thats been going on for the past few days.
Wednesday
I had my Social Studies and my Art paper. I nearly cried doing both papers. One thing's for sure, i didnt study for my Social Studies coz i had to take care of things at home the night before. Secondly, i had no specific concept for what my actual art piece was about, so i improvised and managed to doodle a drawing of a chicken on the paper. Poor ol' me...
Thursday
Had my English paper 2 and my Physics paper. Have to say, although i really fell in love with physics, i didn't actually finish the whole paper and worse of all i loss track of time!! My english was ok although i think that i could've done better. Note to self: If you wanna sleep during one of the papers, get an alarm clock.
Friday
Chemistry and Math paper 1. Worse day of my life or just the start of it? I slept through the whole paper and when i woke up, the invigilator announced "10 minutes left." ... ... ...
I know i wont be able to finish the whole paper within that 10 minutes but i managed to pull off some of the easier questions. Although that fateful paper made me de-moralized, somehow, i felt confidently confident doing the math paper. I dunno whether the answers are correct, but who cares? Haha.
Went for friday prayers with M. Afiq, Zabid and Haris. After that, Haris had to go home straight while I had to meet up with my mom Bukit Merah National Library. But since i had time to spare, i went back to school to meet up with Dear coz she wanted to play badminton. She suggested that i bring the boys along and since they had no other plans after school, they ended up following me to school instead.
We played badminton till its late in the afternoon and i kept on checking my phone in case she calls it. She didn't. When she finally called back, she told me to go home instead. Turns out that she went out with my step-dad and forgot to bring her phone along with her. Haha. On the phone i sounded as though i was mad at her but what she didn't know is how much fun i had during the wait.
Saturday/ Yesterday
Went out in the morning to a Bursary award for my sister at Swiss Hotel. It was fun i guess but i didn't really paid much attention during the speeches coz it was friggin cold and i felt sleepy coz i slept at 2 in the morning. After the prize ceremony, they actually have a tea reception. But it looked and tasted more like a buffet rather than tea. Haha.
After we ate, i followed my mom to buy presents for my younger cousin. She bought a pink teddy bear for her and told me to say i bought it. Like i said, i don't celebrate birthdays much, better yet, i don't even buy presents. I'm such a sucker, i know.
I told my mom that i wanted to go to a chalet at Pasir Ris and all mom said was don't be home too late. Haha, but i guess i did. Reached home at around 11.20pm, all dull and sleepy.
Had lots of fun there and had even more fun on bed, with Dear, the lights all dimmed, everyone else looking at us, a girl was video taping us, pictures on camera phone, pillows, candles, with the TV on. Uuu..
Haha, it was nothing serious, seriously. I confess, i didn't do anything pervertic.
Left the chalet with a full stomach and sweat all over. Should've brought an extra shirt and deodorant. Haha.
Well, i gotta go soon. My step father is coming home and i have to act as though i'm stupid and ignorant. Wait, i'm doing that right now. Haha! Will update next week and i still haven't study for next week's exam papers.
(Someday, i do wish to ask your hands in marriage but till then, i gotta focus on what is critically important to me right now. I hope to try my best and not fail everyone who had been giving me support since birth. You're right, love is more important than riches and fame. Or even family background if that matters. But if they don't accept me for who i am, just know that i will always cherish everything that we had, and what we're gonna have a few years after. Love ya hon!)
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Happy Vesak Day.. Grumble.. Grumble..
Hooray again! 'Its nothing-to-f*king-do-on-a-Saturday' Day!
Listening to November Rain covered by vkgoeswild. She's good. (and hot. Too bad she's a German. Haiz..)
From the time my mom and my sisters left home, say 11.30am?, and up until now, i've been lazily suing the internet, searching for things that are funny on this fateful Saturday. Im not really bored or lazy, i'm just plain.. i dunno, tired? Or maybe its the fact that im broke and really in need of cash right now.
Yesterday, i went to my auntie's house house coz she said something about giving my mother some food items that she find it wasteful to throw it away. F.Y.I., the whole family doesn't eat much and so, if she buys food or gets food from people who gave it to her, (ok, that sounds stupid.) she would kindly distribute the food to all her sisters. (my mom and other aunties.) And the best part is, she lives quite near to my house.
And it also happens that Uncle Bas (a.k.a Baskaran. Cool name, really) was also there. So i asked him whether there's vacancy at his workplace, which is a Nike Outlet at Orchard Cineleisure. And sure enough, he said they're lacking of manpower there. (Lucky me!) The thing is though, he also mentioned that if i wanna work there i have to commit a lot of days a week. Preferably around 4 to 5 days and at least 6 hours one day. And if its a normal school day, he told me that i need to work on weekends. He also mentioned something about 2 interviews that i had to go for and the things that i have to read up on. Very tedious. But what to do? All in the name of Nike and free gift vouchers.
First thing's first, i have to get my mom's approval. Mainly its the distance and the timing of the job. the pay is, well, acceptable i think. As long as i don't get paid $3 dollars an hour is good enough. Most importantly, how long am i gonna work there? till i die? Sheesh.. Can't imagine that.
It sucks staying at home on a lovely saturday like this. On the contrary, i get to be king for a day. But have to take care of a little baby sister. I wanna go to the library!!
Listening to November Rain covered by vkgoeswild. She's good. (and hot. Too bad she's a German. Haiz..)
From the time my mom and my sisters left home, say 11.30am?, and up until now, i've been lazily suing the internet, searching for things that are funny on this fateful Saturday. Im not really bored or lazy, i'm just plain.. i dunno, tired? Or maybe its the fact that im broke and really in need of cash right now.
Yesterday, i went to my auntie's house house coz she said something about giving my mother some food items that she find it wasteful to throw it away. F.Y.I., the whole family doesn't eat much and so, if she buys food or gets food from people who gave it to her, (ok, that sounds stupid.) she would kindly distribute the food to all her sisters. (my mom and other aunties.) And the best part is, she lives quite near to my house.
And it also happens that Uncle Bas (a.k.a Baskaran. Cool name, really) was also there. So i asked him whether there's vacancy at his workplace, which is a Nike Outlet at Orchard Cineleisure. And sure enough, he said they're lacking of manpower there. (Lucky me!) The thing is though, he also mentioned that if i wanna work there i have to commit a lot of days a week. Preferably around 4 to 5 days and at least 6 hours one day. And if its a normal school day, he told me that i need to work on weekends. He also mentioned something about 2 interviews that i had to go for and the things that i have to read up on. Very tedious. But what to do? All in the name of Nike and free gift vouchers.
First thing's first, i have to get my mom's approval. Mainly its the distance and the timing of the job. the pay is, well, acceptable i think. As long as i don't get paid $3 dollars an hour is good enough. Most importantly, how long am i gonna work there? till i die? Sheesh.. Can't imagine that.
It sucks staying at home on a lovely saturday like this. On the contrary, i get to be king for a day. But have to take care of a little baby sister. I wanna go to the library!!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
My 100th post on blogger..
... and its not gonna be a good one.
I'm not gonna talk about all the normal bullshits that i've been occupying this blog about. (studies and shit.)
This time, its about humans. More specifically, MEN!! Right, before you guys make an assumption on what my post is gonna be, i'm gonna share one word that everyone agrees about men. Ego.
eg.o.tis.m/ noun: Believing that one is more important that other people.
Get that? Good.
After seeing my step-dad leaving the house with all his clothes and stuff to God-knows-where, i confronted my mom and she told me everything that happened that made him leave. Its a very stupid reasoning. Really..
It all started when my dad recently loss his job about 2 months ago. Immediately, he went to a job interview to get a lashing job and throughout that 2 whole month, he stayed at home, laze around, watch tv, ask my mom for money to buy cigarettes and stuff. Never crossed his mind that he may or may not get the job that he went the interview for.
But lucky for him, he got the job that he dreams of, lashing. First day, he went out early in the morning at around 6 so as not to be late for work. On the second day, he woke up at 8 (late!) and his supervisor told him that there's no work for him that morning, so he stayed at home. On the third day, he woke up at 7, called his supervisor and he said that there's work at 10. He was overjoyed, took his time to get ready, smoke, eat, smoke again, talked to my mom and suddenly he saw that it was gonna be 9.30 soon. Mind you, we are staying at Woodlands and his workplace is at Tanjong Pagar. Fuck nut. He said it was all gonna be ok until it started to rain. Heavily. ARGH!!! He being so.. so.. LAZY!! What happened to him? On the forth day, which is today, he was told not to go to work if he always come late everyday.
For the whole day he stayed at home, sulking, regretting, feeling sorry, worried. And when my mom asked why is he being so lazy and irresponsible, he lashed at her, like an idiot. Truthfully, he promises a lot of things for our family. Promised this, that, but never ever show it. Everytime i see my mom being troubled with her income, i offered to help her. Help her rid off this burden on her shoulders. I wanna work pert-time and support her but she always shun away my suggestion and told me to concentrate on my studies.
Till when will this go on!!?? She is always being so modest and kind towards us but sometimes, things just have to change right? This sucks. My sister's right..She never really liked my step-dad anyway. Now i see why.
Men, why do we always thing that we are the 'alphahuman' but yet still act like some kinda apes? Why are the women more cleverer and two steps faster than us? Im not saying all men are useless and dumb but i'm referring to the majority of the men out there who claims that they are powerful and strong but never show any proof. I'm in no position to judge anything about men even though my only proof is my step-dad, but its by nature that men are egoistic creatures. sigh.. everything that happened in my life, happens for a reason.
I'm not gonna talk about all the normal bullshits that i've been occupying this blog about. (studies and shit.)
This time, its about humans. More specifically, MEN!! Right, before you guys make an assumption on what my post is gonna be, i'm gonna share one word that everyone agrees about men. Ego.
eg.o.tis.m/ noun: Believing that one is more important that other people.
Get that? Good.
After seeing my step-dad leaving the house with all his clothes and stuff to God-knows-where, i confronted my mom and she told me everything that happened that made him leave. Its a very stupid reasoning. Really..
It all started when my dad recently loss his job about 2 months ago. Immediately, he went to a job interview to get a lashing job and throughout that 2 whole month, he stayed at home, laze around, watch tv, ask my mom for money to buy cigarettes and stuff. Never crossed his mind that he may or may not get the job that he went the interview for.
But lucky for him, he got the job that he dreams of, lashing. First day, he went out early in the morning at around 6 so as not to be late for work. On the second day, he woke up at 8 (late!) and his supervisor told him that there's no work for him that morning, so he stayed at home. On the third day, he woke up at 7, called his supervisor and he said that there's work at 10. He was overjoyed, took his time to get ready, smoke, eat, smoke again, talked to my mom and suddenly he saw that it was gonna be 9.30 soon. Mind you, we are staying at Woodlands and his workplace is at Tanjong Pagar. Fuck nut. He said it was all gonna be ok until it started to rain. Heavily. ARGH!!! He being so.. so.. LAZY!! What happened to him? On the forth day, which is today, he was told not to go to work if he always come late everyday.
For the whole day he stayed at home, sulking, regretting, feeling sorry, worried. And when my mom asked why is he being so lazy and irresponsible, he lashed at her, like an idiot. Truthfully, he promises a lot of things for our family. Promised this, that, but never ever show it. Everytime i see my mom being troubled with her income, i offered to help her. Help her rid off this burden on her shoulders. I wanna work pert-time and support her but she always shun away my suggestion and told me to concentrate on my studies.
Till when will this go on!!?? She is always being so modest and kind towards us but sometimes, things just have to change right? This sucks. My sister's right..She never really liked my step-dad anyway. Now i see why.
Men, why do we always thing that we are the 'alphahuman' but yet still act like some kinda apes? Why are the women more cleverer and two steps faster than us? Im not saying all men are useless and dumb but i'm referring to the majority of the men out there who claims that they are powerful and strong but never show any proof. I'm in no position to judge anything about men even though my only proof is my step-dad, but its by nature that men are egoistic creatures. sigh.. everything that happened in my life, happens for a reason.
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